Losing What We Cling To

The Buddha said that we can only lose what we cling to. It seems like such a stretch to not cling to people or things or events, but there is another side to this that changes everything. The other side says that we can't change other people or past events, or sometimes even our own situations. The only thing we can change is ourselves. Our actions, our thoughts, our reactions, our own outlooks, our behaviour. The idea of making the best of a bad situation is entirely possible, but it's internal. Nobody can do this for us, and we need to accept that. Likewise, when the world around us isn't to our liking, we need to realize that if it isn't within our power to influence it for the better, then there is no use in holding onto an ideal that exists in our own minds. When we come to peace with living in the world without affecting it, it becomes easier to accept change. Emotional pain comes from the attachment we have to an ideal that either has never existed or no longer exists. But when we come to the realization that the ideal does not transcend into reality, the pain also becomes illusory, a figment of our own mind. We realize that we haven't lost what we never had in the first place, and leave behind our illusions. By letting go, we find ourselves at peace.